Guest Blogger: One Teen's Perspective on Dating

My 14 year old daughter wrote a blog post on her thoughts about love, purity, and dating.

What's so precious about Rayray is that these aren't just words on a page or her attempt to say what she thinks her parents want to hear.

The overflow of her heart inspired these words. She lives this.

To the young man who may one day seek to win her heart: You will receive a priceless treasure and if you do not realize that, then you aren't "the one."

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What Purity is to Me

July12

Before I begin, I’m going to go ahead and let you all know that this is my opinion. Feel free to disagree and post a comment about what you don’t agree with. But I’m not getting into any kind of debate, so I won’t be responding to any comments. Again, this is my point of view and what I believe it means to be pure.

Purity is more than just wearing a purity ring and saying “I am going to keep my body from evil.” It is more than waiting for your husband for your first kiss. None of these are bad things at all. In fact, they can be extremely important. Physical purity is absolutely a beautiful gift from God.

Here’s where my opinion comes in.

I believe that it is okay to wonder about your future husband. It’s okay to think a guy is good looking. It’s okay to talk to God about him. Father knows the desire for a spouse that many women have…He placed it in our hearts. We don’t have to be anti-boy to be pure. And when it comes to husbands…it isn’t like we don’t have any choice in the matter. Yes, God knows who we are going to marry. But I’m not so sure that love at first sight is totally real. We have to get to know the guy before we know if we love him or not. That is the purpose of courting.

What comes to mind when I think of courting is getting to know a guy with a group of people, whether it’s with your family or some friends. Courting isn’t wrong by any means. In fact, we have to court to find our future husband. Whether you agree with teen courting or not is your decision, but I probably won’t court until I’m 18 or older. This doesn’t mean I will be absolutely anti-boy until then. It means that I know for a fact that pursuing boys as a young teen doesn’t do much except hand out free heartbreaks.

Now you may be wondering what the difference between dating and courting is. Dating has many different meanings to many different people. But to me, dating is something that should be saved for when both the man and woman know that they love each other. My parents “courted” (were really good friends, hung out in groups, etc.) for a few years, and their first real “date” was when my dad told my mom that he loved her.

My promises:
Wait for courting until I’m old enough to take it seriously. Date only when I’m sure that I love the guy (I probably won’t be a teenager at that point). Treat my first kiss like a precious treasure…and be sure that the man I give it to treats it like a precious treasure, as well. Remain pure before God and for my future husband.

Though it is my greatest hope to fulfill all of these promises I’ve made to myself, God, and my future husband, I know that Father is a loving and forgiving God. If I make a mistake, I know without a doubt that He will absolutely forgive me and cover my sin with His grace and mercy…just like any other sins I’ve committed in my life.

Here’s a little short verse that I wrote about falling in love:

“I don’t know when I’ll fall
Or where I will land
But I know that I’ll always
Be safe in Your hands.”

The Princess Turns Seven

All I did was blink.

And we went from 

here....

to here....

in one 7 year fell swoop. 




Seven pounds to seven years in the blink of an eye.


Happy Birthday, sweet princess!

Random Porch Conversation

Doodle: Remember when Rayray made a purse out of juice pouches?

The Boy: Maybe one day you can knit yourself a purse with your own juice pouches.

Me: You don't knit juice pouches together, you sew them.

Doodle: Mama, why haven't you ever taught me how to knit? I have two knitting sticks and am ready to go!

Me: Because I don't know how to knit that good. We'll have to get Mema to teach you.

The Boy: Well, Mama, when you get to be an old lady you will know how to knit because allll old ladies can knit!   And you can knit me a warm, fluffy sweater with love in every stitch!!


Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a sitcom.

What Is That Smell??

The Boy, age 10, came to me as I was finishing up dinner tonight and asked with sincerity, "Mama, can you get me some of that stuff I can spray on my skin to make me smell like a MAN?"

This morning, I started school by asking the littles, "What is that smell!?" I had them each close their eyes and sniff whatever it was I waved under their noses.

I had honeysuckle blossoms from the yard, apple pie spice from the kitchen, the BBW lotion I use every night, the body spray their teen sister uses, and the menthol chest rub (that stunk up the entire juvenile end of the house last night bc of all their COUGHING!).

Anyway, all were very familiar scents to them. Then we read and talked about these verses...

2 Corinthians 2:14, 15, 17 says:

In Christ, God leads us from place to place

in one perpetual victory parade.

Through us, He spreads the fragrance

of the knowledge of Him everywhere.

For we are the aroma of Christ to God

among those being saved and

 among those perishing..

Christ abides in us, in those that believe. He is in us and as we live our daily lives, He is spreading His fragrance....the knowledge of Himself....to those around us. The Message calls it an "exquisite fragrance." 

Yes, we all have those days where the fragrance we're exuding isn't exactly exquisite. We might be grumpy, tired, busy, stressed, overwhelmed, aggravated, hormonal ...These are the moments when we really hope we don't bump into anyone at Winn-Dixie that needs an encouraging word...bc our victory parade has turned into a frantic stomp and our fragrant mister is slap empty! It's ok. I've soooo been there. Just another opportunity to surrender...

Ephesians 5:1-2 says: 

Therefore, be imitators of God,

as beloved children.

And walk in love,

As Christ loved us and 

gave himself up for us,

a fragrant offering

and sacrifice to God.

As Believers, we've all been given special gifts, talents, strengths unique to only you, only me. We are to use these God-given strengths, bathed in Love,  as a fragrant offering to Him and as His aroma to those around us. 

Just like The Boy wants to imitate his HeroDaddy and spray on the fragrance of a man, we are to be like children imitating our Father.

But this fragrant aroma can't be sprayed on or applied by human hands. It comes from the Love of Christ within us, oozing out of our very pores, as we allow Him to abide in us, take up residence in us giving us New Life...allowing our stinkin' flesh to fall away and disappear. 

The question just begs to be asked.

What is that smell...that fragrant aroma?

Addison Road and Hope

We have a precious new friend. Her name is Jenny. She's a young wife and mother to a beautiful baby girl. She's also the very real, transparent, and talented lead singer for Addison Road.

And...Addison Road just so happens to be our most favorite band. And we just so happened to drive 5 hours to see them in concert a few days ago.

Awhile back, we watched a 20/20 show on country teen star Taylor Swift. Camera crews went backstage with her before one of her concerts where we saw a plush lounge area set up complete with fully stocked snack bar, expensive furniture and candles lit for a luxurious, relaxing place to wait until time to go on stage to sing.

Let's just say this isn't exactly the same picture for our Addison Road. Traveling on the road for months at a time in a borrowed tour bus with the baby...setting up their own equipment.....eating Ramen Noodles before a concert?  No, not the lap of luxury by any stretch of the imagination.

So why do they do it? Is it worth it?

They do it bc they are certain of the calling Father has on their lives. Yes, it is worth it because hearts are touched and lives are changed because of their testimony and their God-breathed music. You see, Jenny doesn't sing lyrics about the Lord because it's a nice rhyme or sweet sentiment. They share lyrics about hope, redemption, true beauty, faith because they have LIVED THEM.

Just in the past year alone, the members of Addison Road have had their trailer with all their equipment/band stuff inside stolen TWICE, they've had TWO wrecks, and just recently, their borrowed tour bus and trailer with ALL THEIR CLOTHES AND MERCH exploded and burnt to the ground. Besides that, some of the band members have had  family crises and Jenny had a baby!

When my life is like a storm
rising waters all I want is the shore
You say I'll be ok
Make it through the rain
You are my shelter from the storm
I'm not my own, I've been carried by You all my life...
Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free

We (my girls, my sister in law, my niece and I) had the privilege to meet Jenny (and the rest of the band) at the concert. Before I said a word, she recognized US from my comments on her blog and she was as excited as we were to meet her.( I scored some major "Cool Mom" points bc of that, too.) She's the real deal....nothing fake or diva.

At the end of the day, she is a wife and mom who just so happens to have a beautiful voice, a heart for God and a passion for people. The guys in the band are just regular, normal guys who happen to be gifted songwriters and musicians.

In his book The Misunderstood God, Darin Hufford writes:

"Hope is extremely precious; life depends on hope and God made it that way. It is very dear to His heart because of the power it possesses for His children when placed in the right things. The purpose of hope is for it to be inserted into truth. When hope is placed in Truth, it tows us through life's trials. There is nothing a person cannot endure if their hope is placed in Truth."

I believe I can safely say that the members of Addison Road have their hope placed in Truth. As I stood at the concert with Appledoodle's arms wrapped around my neck and her little voice singing Hope Now with Jenny as loud as she could, I realized once again and can say without a doubt that my hope is placed in Truth, too. Everything rides on Hope, now.

Appledumplin' dancing at the concert 

with her autographed shirt on...

Resurrection Eggs - Day 3

Inside today's egg was a silver chalice. (aka a cup.)

First we discussed the first Passover as recorded in Exodus. And how the Jewish still celebrate a passover meal each year. One day, we are going to have a full passover meal at our house. Rayray is fascinated with Jewish tradition and one of our favorite movies is Fiddler on the Roof.

I digress.

Jesus and the disciples were in Jerusalem during and for Passover. They went to the Upper Room and together had what is now known as The Last Supper. After washing the disciples feet in a most humble act of servant-leader, they had their passover dinner.

Communion. The Lord's Supper. The broken bread symbolizes Jesus body, broken for our sins. The wine symbolizes Jesus blood, spilt to cover our sins. The Blood of the Lamb.

I did a study a few years ago that fascinated me on broken bread and poured out wine.  In Oswald Chambers "My Utmost For His Highest" devo book, the phrase kept popping up over and over. I decided to dig deeper and see what I could find bc most times, when something keeps "popping up over and over" it's the Lord...and I pay close attention. That time proved to be no different, either.

Our tiny silver chalice today represents the Last Supper in the upper room during Passover in Jerusalem.

Resurrection Eggs - Day 2

The pink egg. Such a fun colored egg with such a heartbreaking symbol inside.

Today - 3 pieces of silver representing the 30 pieces of silver Judas bargained for in return for turning over Jesus to the Jewish leaders.

Matthew 24:14-16 is the scripture reference.

Betrayal. A betrayal is a violation of a friendship. A break of trust. Being unfaithful. Disloyal. A breach in confidence. To deliver into the hands of an enemy in violation of a trust or allegiance, as in the case with Judas.

After discussing the judgmental, selfish, prideful religious leaders and their hatred of Jesus and Judas' ultimate betrayal, our discussion took a different turn.


Was Judas forgiven of his betrayal?

We didn't get into a deep theological discussion about this issue...But I touched on a couple of things to ponder.

First, Jesus knew what Judas was up to before it ever happened. It was an ultimate betrayal, but no surprise.

Secondly, even Judas, who committed the ultimate betrayal, is loved by Father and not beyond forgiveness.

I'm wondering....have I ever been betrayed by a friend for a much less serious offense and not readily offered forgiveness? What makes it justifiable to not offer forgiveness to another when our Father offers it to all??

Just pondering.....

Tomorrow...What's inside egg number three???